I weigh the most I’ve ever weighed by far, and as much as I try to stay body positive, it’s really hard…
I keep going back and forth between making extreme plans to not eat a lot so I can lose weight fast and binging on the most unhealthy things I can find out of sadness and frustration. But whether I lose weight or not, this is how my body looks right now in this moment and I’m realizing that I need to accept it before I make any plans to change it. The way my body looks in this moment is due to all of the times I’d rather read or take a nap than exercise, the food I enjoy when I’m spending time with friends or my boyfriend, and all of the times I’ve used food to treat my anxiety or comfort myself when I’m not feeling grounded. And that’s okay. It is what it is and if I want to lose weight I can do that in a healthy way, but I’m seriously done hating the way my body looks right now because it really hurts. Although I don’t feel as comfortable as I would if I lost a bit of weight (just being honest), there is nothing wrong with the way my body looks right now. The thoughts in my head that tell me I’m ugly are not really mine and I’m done letting them affect me. I’m really over it. I’m going to hug my soft, fat stomach and go to sleep and in the tomorrow maybe I’ll decide to eat healthier or exercise, but regardless of what I do, I deserve to accept my body no matter what. !!!!!!!!
replacing self-hating thoughts with new thoughts such as:
chubby tums rule !!
i am so cute
i am like a living pillow and i want all the people i love to nap on me
also planning on blowing kisses to myself and winking at myself